I had a few niggling doubts, but had always suppressed them. You know, didn't want to be "presumptuous", didn't want to be questioning, didn't want to show "independent thinking" or disloyalty. The generation thing bothered me, the blood fraction thing bothered me IMMENSELY (made NO SENSE to me!)..... Jesus only being mediator for the 144,000 bothered me.... all these things I suppressed because of course the GB were the only ones who could ever enlighten us.
But my "matrix moment" came when I was going to give my sweet precious little grandbabies the Bible Story book. I started looking through the book and saw it through their little eyes. (Why I never saw this when my own children were little I'll never know!)
"My Book of Bible Stories" is a HORROR SHOW. It is frightening, scary, terrible. The images are way too graphic for small children who can't read, thus all our little children have to go on are the pictures. Terrible and terrifying pictures. If you actually go through this book and COUNT how many pictures show violence, blood, people crying, looking angry, being hurt, being sad, being killed, being tormented in some way... it's almost the WHOLE BOOK. **UNBELIEVABLE** (Go ahead! Count them!! It's totally eye-opening.)
As I was looking through the book, becoming more and more alarmed at the images, I realized this book was written for children by MEN WHO NEVER EVEN HAD CHILDREN!!!(Excuse all my caps.... yes, I feel like screeching about it).
When my faith in the GB came into question, the whole structure started to crumble.